Dear Adoring Fans,
Being American, I know that I am special. That’s the great thing about being raised in this beautiful country. We are all raised with the understanding that we are special. Now that the world population is tipping over to seven billion I have to stop and marvel thinking there are seven billion individually special people in this world. Yes, I know special also means retard. I’m not talking about billions of tards. And yes, some are more special than others. Not everyone was born with my talent. But they are all special – in their own way.
I’ve been thinking about this because I had an argument with Stephanie who works at the Arby’s drive-thru. Hearing the news about the population reaching such a scale she grimaced and said she was heading straight down to the abortion clinic (she’s two months pregnant). She said the world is filling up and she knows the future must mean misery for any child born today that will have to one day live in a world crammed with fifteen billion people. I told her, “No Stephanie! There is a special little life growing inside you. You must keep it!” She turned to me flicking her nasty dyed bangs and said, “Get real Iris! Nobody around here is special. Everyone just likes to think that. But how can you call me or you special when we’re stuck working in Arby’s.” I told her she was wrong. I have ambition. I will make my come back. The world will see I’m special. 
Well, dear readers, I had to take a few moments to go to the ladies room and cry at her nasty words. Of course my boss cussed me out when I returned five minutes later having taken the unscheduled break. I can’t stop believing that I’m special – that we all are. Some of us just don’t have the ambition to realize our special potential. Rest assured I have that drive. As president James A. Garfield said, “A pound of pluck is wroth a ton of luck.” I do have pluck. And I’m going to make it. You’ll see Stephanie. I’ll make you see.
Yours and forever,
Iris Myandowski (The hand walking queer)
