Thursday, December 3, 2009

Iris Myandowski loves buying as much candy as she wants

Dear Adoring Fans,

Yesterday, my insane Arby’s manager spent an hour complaining to me about how he doesn’t have time to do everything he has to do: train me further, supervise me, write an evaluation about me. Rather than doing any of these things or running the restaurant, he ranted and raved while I made roast beef sandwich after roast beef sandwich. By the time it got to my twenty minute lunchbreak I was nearly in tears.
I went to the nearby RiteAid to pick out a candy bar (actually six candy bars). Standing in front of all the candy was a child looking at all the butterfingers and lollipops with such longing. His mother angrily refused him any candy. Meanwhile, I loaded my basket with chocolate bar after chocolate bar. Kit Kats, Hershey bars, Baby Ruths, Junion Mints, Mars bars. Walking past the little boy who was in tears I laughed at him. I may work for a miserable man, but at least I’ve earned this as an adult: the right to get as much candy as I want!

Yours and forever,
Iris Myandowski (The hand walking queer)